Finding Someone Special
Browsing through the personal classifieds can be quite frustrating
if you really don't know what qualities or the type of personality
it is that you are searching for in the person you are seeking,
or in the relationship you are seeking.
Questions you need to ask yourself before and as you are
reading through the personal sections again are: Why are you
searching for someone, do you want a companion, a serious
relationship or just to make friends with someone new with
the hopes of dating. Who are you looking for, are you searching
for someone tall, short, thin, stout, young, old, divorced,
widowed, single, married, and the list goes on to include
all personal choices and preferences in people.
Discussing this theory a little more in detail - If you have
a problem dating someone with kids, you should skip over the
classifieds that reveal those people who have kids or you
will only be letting yourself down in the end when you are
building a relationship. This theory pertains to all of the
listings, for example, if you are searching for someone that
is just for you, without ever sharing that person with another,
search for someone who has never been married or who is not
a widow (widower). Once you know whom you are searching for,
you will be able to read the personal classifieds with more
confidence and decision making abilities.
Read the classifieds completely, tracking the writing that
interests you the most so that you can go back and compare,
reread or contact that person. Reading through the entire
personal section, or at very least the section that applies
your target interest group, you will find a variety of people
with vast differences in personalities just through the short
descriptions available.
Now is the tough time to write your contact letter, made
much simpler if you have already created your profile for
replies to read about you. Starting your reply is easy with
an opening such as, 'I have read your profile and found you
are most intriguing (interesting, exciting, provocative)'
or you could use something more elaborate such as 'Your profile
interested me to the point where I had to contact you right
away to find out what we have in common'. While there are
many expressions and various phrases you can use when writing
your opening letter, the contact letter is truly going to
be a reflection of your personality, and what you are searching
for in a relationship.
The first example of 'I have read your profile and found
you are most intriguing', would reveal that you are interested.
Are you searching for friendship in the classified section?
Try using the first example building on that sentence to read
along the lines of: 'I would like the opportunity to get to
know you better and talk a while'. But if you are searching
for a lover through the personals, the second sentence could
read: 'I really would love to get to know you better, find
out what type of person you are searching for and hopefully
to create a match with you'. The point here is to keep your
true feelings within the boundaries of words, not scaring
off someone if you are just wanting to be friends, while on
the other hand if you are searching for a lover don't hide
behind words of a friendly chat.
Top ideas to use in your opening introduction letter are
express your interest to your potential 'date' using your
writing to express why you are contacting that person. Reveal
to this person how you propose to meet their needs in their
search for a friend, companion or lover using expressive words
such as 'I intend to' or 'I would like to' or even 'I have
been searching through the classifieds and found your profile
appealing to me because'. Give just a few hints about your
where you are located, without revealing to much about your
without determining whether the two of you will continue a
conversation. Use phrases like, 'I am from the east coast'
or 'I live south of California' or other such general terms,
revealing your location to a particular location through later
conversations. Your initial contact with a proposed 'date'
should be about the type of person you are searching for,
why you have been using resources online to search for someone
special, and what you are hoping to gain from a relationship
from this person with personal details revealed through additional
conversations as your 'relationship' trust grows.
Online personals have been created for the user to act anonymously
while investigating the possibilities of friendship, love
and for finding that someone special to spend your life with.
Using your thoughts and feelings through this situation, creatively
with expressive words without misleading readers will allow
you to reach your destination, of finding that someone special,
faster and easier that you would be able to in any other situation.
About the Author:
Cheryl Lewis, freelance writer, married and mother of three.
Based in the Mountains of PA
Cheryl writes for DrDating - a web site for anyone looking
for love online. We have hundreds of articles, E-Books and
links to some great dating and love sites all over the world.
DrDating also offers reviews of some of the most popular dating
sites and books.
http://www.DrDating.com
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