Single in the Mid-Thirties - Things To
Consider
It doesn't matter how you got to be single in your mid-thirties.
What does matter, however, is that you have certain priorities
in order so that you can protect yourself and those you date
from getting hurt.
There are too many reasons to list on why you're on the market
at this stage in your life, but you should be clear on your
goals, both long and short-term. You don't want to be led
on or trapped into something you didn't want in the first
place.
The very first things you need to consider are your short
and long-term relationship goals. If you are a confirmed bachelor
(or bachlorette) you definitely don't want to be dating someone
who is determined to settle down and start a family. Age is
often tied to this as well. A twenty-something may be looking
for a good time or to tie the knot. While a boy toy or trophy
can be fun in the short-term, if you are looking for a serious
relationship you may want to look elsewhere.
There are a lot of things to consider when dating either
above or below your age bracket. If you fall for someone who
is a lot younger, you may get hurt because they can lack maturity
that comes only from life experience. Twenty-somethings are
often still trying to figure out where they fit in, and are
still forming their goals. Another problem is children; they
may or may not want them. If you get really serious, as in
any age bracket, you need to discuss each other's views on
children.
On the other hand, if you date someone much older than you
there are some problems to be aware of as well. Older people
tend to have already decided what they want out of life, and
generally are not too excited to change course. If you really
want to settle down, don't go chasing after the man or woman
who has no intention of a long-term relationship. Also, there
are certain generation gaps that have to be considered. Your
older lover may not appreciate going to see your favorite
rock group in concert. With consideration and understanding,
however, many obstacles of dating older and younger people
can be overcome.
Another thing to consider is your financial position. Have
you dedicated the last ten years to getting ahead in your
career and the rewards that come with that? Are you willing
to give up half of your money in a divorce? You will have
to decide what is important depending on the person you are
dating. Even people who aren't married have had their lover
run off with the bank account. Protect yourself, and if necessary,
seek the advice of an attorney before you propose or accept
a proposal.
Finally, if you have children you need to consider the type
of people that are entering your life. Do you want to bring
any and all of your dates to meet them, or are you going to
wait for someone fairly serious? You also have to try to uphold
the values that you want your children to follow in their
lives. You are a role model, and how you conduct yourself
does make an impression on your children.
In short, be smart about what you are doing. Don't leave
yourself open to be taken advantage of. Most of all, though,
have fun and good luck in pursuing your romantic endeavors.
About the Author:
Heather Jaillett is a freelance writer from Washington State.
After extensive dating she finally found her soul mate. She
still advises many on dating solutions, and is constantly
researching relationships and romance. Exploring ways to add
romance to electronic communication is also another pursuit
she enjoys.
Heather Jaillett writes for DrDating - a web site for anyone
looking for love online. We have hundreds of articles, E-Books
and links to some great dating and love sites all over the
world. DrDating also offers reviews of some of the most popular
dating sites and books.
http://www.DrDating.com
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