Helping Your Child Learn Responsible Behavior
Contd.
Respect and Compassion for Others
As part of bring responsible, children need to respect and
show concern for the well-being of other people. Respect ranges
from using basic manners to having compassion for the suffering
of others. Compassion is developed by trying to see things
from the point of view of others, and learning that their
feelings resemble our own.
Daddy, why was Grandma crying?
She is very sad. One of her closest friends just died.
Come and sit with me. Do you remember how you felt when
your gerbil, Whiskers, died?
I felt sad and lonely.
I'm sure Grandma feels that way, too. Maybe you can think
of a way to help her.
I could give her a hug...
That's a great idea! I'm really glad you thought of it.
Respect for others also includes the habit of treating people
fairly as individuals, regardless of race, sex, or ethnic
group. As we mature, respect includes realizing that not
all our obligations to others, such as caring for a family
member who is sick, are chosen freely. And it includes tolerance
for people who do not share our beliefs or likes or
dislikes, as long as they do not harm others.
These habits are especially important because many of the
wrongs people commit result from indifference to the suffering
they cause.
Honesty
Honesty means telling the truth. It means not misleading
others for our own benefit. It also means trying to make decisions,
especially important ones, on the basis of evidence
rather than prejudice. Honesty includes dealing with other
people and being honest with ourselves.
To understand the importance of being truthful to others,
our children need to learn that living together depends on
trust. Without honesty, trusting each other becomes impossible.
Honesty with ourselves involves faring up to our own mistakes
and biases, even when we have to admit them to others. It
includes self-criticism. The point is to learn from our
errors and to do our best to correct them, not to dwell on
them.
Courage
Courage is taking a position and doing what is right, even
at the risk of some loss. It means being neither reckless
nor cowardly, but faring up to our duties. It includes physical
courage, intellectual courage to make decisions on the basis
of evidence, and moral courage to stand up for our principles.
Courage does not mean never bring afraid. It can involve
trying to overcome our fears, such as a fear of the dark.
But our children also need to lean that sometimes it is all
right to be afraid.
Daddy, a man showed us money by the school playground today.
What did you do?
We ran for the teacher.
Why did you do that?
We were scared. You and Mommy and our teacher Mrs. Jones
said never take anything from grownups we don't know. Run
away. Go and tell somebody we know.
Good for you. It was right to be scared. Lots of people
are nice, but some are very mean. They can hurt you. The
mean ones sometimes try to fool people by pretending to
be nice.
Now, tell me, what did the man look like?
Courage becomes especially important by the time children
become teenagers. They often have to stand up against peer
pressure to do the wrong thing, such as using drugs.
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